Old Flames Die Hard
Written by casey
Well here I am it’s a hot July night and our air broke yesterday. I'm a 27 year old married male. The family is having a reunion tomorrow, and some have come early! Much to my surprise my cousin made an appearance. I know your thinking so what? Well this is the same cousin that molested me when I was younger. He started it when I was about 5 or so and it went on till I was about 12 when he stopped suddenly. It’s a HUGE source of pain in my life. I tried to kill myself a few times over him through the years. We hadn't talked in like 15 years after I got away from him.
I thought I was over it. I thought I had moved on. I was wrong. When he came up to me all my old feelings for him came back. I was crushed with emotions of love, hate, grief, sadness, and a new one...pity? Yea I think that's it, you see when I knew him well he was young and had a rock hard bod. He was super sexy and just....wow! Nowadays I didn't even really know who he was. He’s lost most of his hair and put on a lot of weight. He’s got some health problems from drugs and a mean kid!
Speaking of the child I'm a little worried about him cause he’s around 7 and looks ALOT like I did. I'm like is he doing the same to him as he did to me? I don't have the courage to ask him and his wife doesn't believe me, so I guess there's not too much I can do about it.
So anyway this is about him not his kid. As tradition in my family a poker game was started and everyone gathered around the table. I’ve never had any luck with gambling so I was out fast. I was OK with that after all it’s really hot in here. I went outside where it’s about 15degrees cooler. I think is important to say here that my wife is at her mothers. She doesn't like big groups of people and my family is really loud and will not hold anything back. So there I am sitting out in the yard just thinking about how funny life is sometimes and much to my surprise He came out, walked over to where I was and sat down next to me. I was filled with rage? pity? sadness? disgusted? I’m not sure. It was like all these emotions all balled into one and trying to be the one I felt the most.
We started talking about how hot it was in the house and the weather... you know the small talk people make when there's bigger things on the mind. Well I couldn't stand it anymore I decided it was time to some things off my chest!!! When I went to speak the wrong thing came out! I had meant to tell him how much I hated him, and about how he wrecked my life! That's not what came out I seems all I could do was whisper to him about how much I missed him and wanted to be with him again! I couldn't believe it! As much as I wanted to tell him off, It was like I couldn't! Well much to my surprise he leaned over and kissed me! I was tingling all over. It was like I was being shocked! He got up and walked over to his car and the next thing I knew he was inside of me. I just couldn't stop myself, it was like being that scared little boy all over again. I even cried a little while he was porkin me.
The worst part came when he did. After it was over and he cleaned himself up he threw the towel at me and told me "to clean yourself up, and this time try not to tell anyone cause as you well remember no one believed you then and no one will believe you now!" I was crushed again and now as I write this I cry for myself. My broken will power and failed marriage. I’ve cheated on my wife and for what? A creep that has some kind of hold on me?
I'm sick. I hate myself and wanna just die. To me I'm the worst person I know at this moment. I just don't know what I'm gonna do. The real reunion starts today. Maybe I’ll take my dad’s Viagra with me and spike his drink. Just about 5 of those little pills should do it I think. I just wanna teach him a lesson and make myself feel better. Maybe slash his tires or pull some wires out, to make sure he can’t leave without telling someone why. I'm not sure but today should be interesting to say the least.
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Comments
This is a good site to get rid of the baggage and see what other people have to say about our secrets..
Good luck man... I wish you the best.
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