Story Peeps Change Lives

Found Our Hubby's Fantasy

Member: lostapartofme

A couple of months ago, I accidentally found something my husband had been hiding from me for many years.  I logged onto his computer since I did not have mine and needed info to give to him.  When I logged on, he was on a website called gay.com. He had his picture up and everything.  I confronted him and he told me about this fantasy.  He has a fantasy of a beautiful woman who gives him a BJ and he finds out she is really a he...a beautiful tranny.  He claims he doesn't have any interest in anything else and claims he is not gay.  He hates himself for liking something like this.  We talked a long time about this and he promised never to do anything like that again and I promised never to talk about it again.

He recently got a new job and is gone all week in another state.  His training is 8 weeks long but comes home on the weekend.  He was acting distant from me after a couple of weeks and I got my "gut" feeling that is ALWAYS right.  So I set up a fake email account and went onto craig's list to look at the postings for males looking for trannies.  I found a post that I really felt was him and replied to it.  He said in his post he had tried posting something a couple of times without success.  He was looking to exchange emails with a tranny and he felt they would click, he would send his picture and meet up.

So I emailed the post and he emailed me back.  I freaked out on him and he was upset with me because I was being sneaky.  He claims he NEVER did anything nor did he ever get any emails.  He again tells me he is not gay and only wants me in his life.  I'm really trying to trust him again but I question his every move.  He knows this and is trying hard but I can't deal with even more so because he will be travelling for his job all the time.  I don't have anyone to talk to about this nor would I ever want to.

I know he truly loves me but I keep thinking about this over and over again.  I don't know if I can really trust him but this time around he swore it would NEVER happen again and he swore on our kids lives.  I do know he loves me so much but I don't know if I will be able to get pass this.  I'm looking for anyone who might have gone thru this before and help me through this process.  I am making myself very sick and I worry about my well-being so I'm turning here for guidance.

Comments  

 

0 #12 do you believe him — caseyneopets 2011-05-16 08:13

on the whole not done anything part i mean if he is getting e mails from trannys that not cheating true it could lead to that but e mails are not sex whats your definiton of cheating? i say spice it up share your fantacy with him mady youll open a whole new side you dident know you had dont let the pastor guy goat you into felling bad hes using "god" like most bible thumppers im not religious so im not pulled to his comment maby you are and if so sory for that im not close minded im more open to new things now it may be scary at first but hay thats what lifes about right? you never know i say give him a chance maby e mail him and get him to meet you in some secret place and just go wild you both might like it i think if more people were like that they wouldent be so uptight Oh and to the pastor guy id rather have my mind open by wonder then closed by religion *cheers*

Quote

 

 

-1 #11 Pastor — Michael Owen 2011-02-23 22:56

The fact is that everyone of us has sinned, even me the pastor has sinned; not once not twice but daily.... If there was any judging taking place it was not on my part. RatFinkFive0 judged me saying that I was using religion and he could not have been more wrong. You see before I was set free and delivered from darkness, I was that man who was cheating on his wife, I was that man that kept trying to hide things from people. All that hiding did was bring a total spiritual destruction and brokenness to my life. It wasnt until I met this man named Jesus that I came to an understanding of my life and the things that I had done. Through this relationship with Christ I am a free man and cant no one take that away from me. I cannot judge for I was once guilty also....

Quote

 

 

+1 #10 Pastor — Michael Owen 2011-02-23 22:49

RatFinkFive0 I was in no way using religion to try and make anyone feel guilty. Religion judges people but relationships help people. If I was using religion I would have been quik to judge her husband for what he is doing. Instead I said "dont be to quik to judge", instead seek out the help of a Christian counselor. Why would you tell her to share his fantasy with him? she obviously is very troubled by his actions and you offer for her to share in it with him. This is how the world and religion reacts to this type of activity. I'm offering a relationship and that relationship is in Jesus Christ, relationships bring people closer and cause healing and restoration to take place. Religion is not of God, and religion has never helped anyone to be set free from addictions and bondage, it is only through relationships that one can be set free.

Quote

 

 

+1 #9 I agree — RatFinkFive0 2011-02-23 11:32

You should share his fantasies together.

As for the pastor, dont let him use religion to make you feel guilty and ashamed. Just try to understand your husband and keep an open mind sexually...feel free to explore as well...but TOGETHER...if he still sneaks around and tries to go behind your back, Leave him. At least you know you tried and he still acted like a child, and that is all you can do.

Quote

 

 

-1 #8 Pastor — Michael Owen 2011-02-21 14:16

First off I would like to say that I am sorry for what you have discovered and pray that you will find the answers that you are looking for. I think it is very important to no be so quik to judge this man, we have no idea what has led him to this place in his life that causes him to have these sexual desires. Only one man can Judge and that man is Jesus! there is something in his past that has happened to him and he is unwilling to talk about it with anyone.

I think it is important to attain some christian counseling and to first of all if you have not already done it is to make a personal decision for Jesus Christ and invite Him to be your personal Lord and Savior. He is the only one who can restore a person that is struggling with this type of lifestyle.

I would be happy to help you, feel free to contact me anytime. I will keep you and your situation in prayer.

Quote

 

 

0 #7 Get out — Logan35` 2011-02-12 22:39

hey i am not going to lie to you or sugar coat this he has already done things and i advise you to go get checked and then get out of the relationship if he truely loved you he would have told you straight up you wouldnt have had to find it your self

Quote

 

 

0 #6 mr. — ghost 2011-02-11 14:00

Run away from this relationship as fast as you can....I am a gay man, and I am 58 years old...I lived in California,for 40 yrs. and I have lived and experienced gay life and people such as your husband...and his actions...he is cheating on you regarless,proba bly has have sex ,with strangers, and can easily transmit a disease to you...I feel that gay is gay and straight is straight and nothing in between....

Quote

 

 

-3 #5 RE: Found Our Hubby's Fantasy — Andrew 2011-02-02 15:36

Wow thats some story there..personally doing a tranny equals gay but thats my view

Quote

 

 

0 #4 Are you kidding me? — Empress 2011-01-22 09:32

First of all, what was the agreement before you got married? Did you agree to remain monogamous, or sleep with other people? If the agreement was to remain monogamous then your husband should abide by that agreement. If you want a relationship with just you and your husband with no other sexual partners then your husband should honor that, if that was the agreement before you got married. In no way should you explore something you do not want to explore. You made a commitment and so should your husband. He should have told you in the beginning, before you got married, that he wants to f*** other men. If he had told you that you probably wouldn't have married him. I do not support sleeping with other partners, like these other people do, unless sleeping with other people is agreed upon and understood before a relationship begins. You do what you want to do. If you want to explore sexually then do that , if not, then DON'T! Get a divorced.

Quote

 

 

+3 #3 Spice It Up — Karl 2010-10-30 18:01

I think you should use your predicament to not only help your husband, but to open up your own life as well. First of all, I can tell you as a bisexual man, that your husband will never be able to shed himself of his feelings. He is clearly having homo-erotic thoughts that won't abate for any person or any reason, and as much as you'd like to prevent it, he WILL go put his thoughts into action, if he hasn't already.

Why not use this to your advantage to not only spice up his sex life, but yours, as well? If you do, and if you both enjoy your new-found endeavors, your marriage may be strengthened beyond what you've experienced thus far.

Try to meet another couple in which the husband is bisexual. If you are nervous about this, you might feel a slightly older couple less intimidating. Once you've set up a meeting, you'll be amazed about how easy a frank conversation on this subject can be. Then, if you decide to go through with it, arrange it so that the four of you will get undressed as quickly as possible. You won't believe how fast your inhibitions will abate once you're in the company of other naked people. Before long, you'll actually find yourself wanting to explore all the possibilities that this type of lifestyle can offer. For instance, you'll find it highly erotic at watching your husband get a blowjob from another man, and seeing him sucking another guy's BAD WORD . Take a hands-on approach in this and you'll be more sexually stimulated than you've ever been in your life.

Once you see how much your husband enjoys this, you'll also probably see a new found appreciation in his eyes towards you for allowing him to satisfy his long-hidden passions. And then it will be your turn to discover that most things you always believed were wrong, are suddenly alright, normal and sane. You will probably find that making love to another woman holds as much excitement and enjoyment for you as man-sex does for your husband. Just think of all the possibilities of four people in the same bed! The largest benefit of all this, of course, is that it may save your marriage.

Quote

 

 

+2 #2 well you have some choices — ladyinstreets 2010-10-17 14:50

You can berate him for his fantasies which we really cannot control.. which is going to make him lie to you ... and hide from you..
or you can explore his fantasies with him... support him.. figure out a safe way for him to do this. He needs to understand his fantasies.. and he needs to know you are there.. read more about it.. and dont get grossed out.. SEX is biological... an affair is much more dangerous.. because that is EMOTIONAL.. dont push him into someones arms that will listen and try to understand.. if you dont listen someone will

Quote

 

 

+1 #1 He should have told you — Just_My_Thoughts 2010-07-21 11:31

Hi there! The most important thing in a relationship is communication. He should have been honest with you about his fantasies. That is that part that upsets me is when I find out that people aren't open and honest about things they like.

What you both need to do is sit down and talk to him, just like you have been doing. But you also need to keep an open mind. If this is something he is fantasizing about then maybe both of you as a couple can experiment together. I know you are probably freaking out right now about that aspect. But you need to hear me out, from experience I do understand.

If you are interested in me explaining myself further, let me know.

Quote

 

Refresh comments list
RSS feed for comments to this post

Add comment

JComments