Story Peeps Change Lives

Art Of Being Alone

Member: solost8

Sometimes I sit here and wonder why I keep myself so alone...feeling of nothing an shame passes over me... somewhat reveling my troubled past...I toss and turn at night hoping to wake from it all....I try so hard to cancel out the many thoughts in my mind...wishing I could find some time... of peace....sadness washings over me....I can’t seem to think....there's so much that could be revealed...so many stories.. So many times....good...bad...happy... sad.....sleeping in the park...in 20 degree weather. No home to go to...to old men half naked at a beach tiring to hit on me...with their penises just hanging there......there are gun stories.. Drug stories...erotic dancer stories....Disneyworld stories....Orlando nightclub stories...all the way to Miami an back stories...New Orleans slimy ass stories...to...M-town  home of the blues stories....late night drug dealing stories...being molested as a child stories......drive by stories...hitchhiking stories....being left alone at 6 years old for hours on end. Stories......locked up in the house playing with my Lego friends as a child stories....to...locked up in jail wondering when an if my trials ever come in stories...feeling panic an anxiety at such a young age...making decisions based on really bad situations......put there by my mom....an the alcoholic that she was....I was not blessed with one of the finer lifestyles. so many stories I wish I could talk about ......yet  I have managed to survive all the paths I've ever gone down no matter how great or dangerous they seemed to have gotten....lost friends I wish I could see again and have had enemies I regret I didn't  kill.....yet I sit alone...never wanting to fit in I find myself loving the little contact I do have when I small talk with a stranger....of I feel in some way I make a difference in someone’s day...when I was young I wanted the world to burn up in what we all are already doing , it’s just at a slower pace...I watch now as the world falls apart. War...parents killing their own...homeless children....hiv babies....racism...the killing of the planet and the animals that have to live and try to grow... living around something so selfish as us.... yet I sit ashamed of some of the things I've done...have been caught up in...have lived through an seen....I feel for so many I have seen throughout my life lose or have been stepped on by this society and that saddens me....why I really thought getting older you develop more wisdom more understanding of this world....yet I guess I sit alone....... 

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0 #2 Beautiful.... — Nature Gal 2010-07-16 17:23

This is so beautiful. Thank you for having the courage to express yourself. I feel your pain AND your hope - very deeply.

Keep on, keeping on....the light of Love is within us all...

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0 #1 being alone — VinceM 2010-07-10 17:29

I've lived a life of solitude for 4 years and it was the best time of my life because I learned exactly who I am.

I like what you wrote and can sympathize with you... it seems like people are turning into animals... religion... government... propganda... none of it is helping the cause... is it?

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