Story Peeps Change Lives

The Day I Was Supposed To Die

Member: Bigblast82

The 21st.. A day that has held some meaning to my family dating back to 1982. The day my Grandmother died. Again re-visiting the day in 1991 when my Grandfather died. And, yet again my father's death shares the same date....

 Now on to my story. "The day I was supposed to die." 

 21st day of (year and month not disclosed for obvious reasons) It was a typical day in Kandahar Afghanistan. Hot and dusty!!! My team and I rolled into our compound around 0900hrs after a short range patrol to our check points (CPs), located throughout the city and its surrounding deserts and villages. 0915 soaked in sweat from all the gear (80lbs) and stuffy Up Armored HmmVs (UAHs). We were ready to kick back, and sleep the hottest part of the day away, when shots rang out in the distance. One of our Afghan National Police (ANP) came running into our compound to alert us that a check points was under fire. Quickly we dawned our gear and loaded up into the four UAHs and took off following the ANP vehicle to the check point.

 Driving as fast as the UAHs could handle, we chanced our own lives with Improvised Explosive devices (IEDs) surly planted on the shortest route leading to the CP. Upon arrival, there were no friendly casualties, but half the check point had began pursuit of their attackers. So, we did what any red blooded American soldiers would do.... We joined the chase! Rounding one of the many mountains that jettison almost out of now where from the desert floor, we came across the first (and only, thankfully) wounded ANP officer. He had been shot in the abdomen. Our medic, quick to respond was able to stay behind with half our 14 man team to see to his care as the rest of use continued pursuit. 

 It wasn't long before we ran out of road and had to make the choice. Give up on the pursuit and let the attackers (Taliban insurgents) take the incident and spin it to a victory among the people over the US. Army, or again leave half our team to guard the UAHs as the rest of us continued on foot. So, once again, we did what any red blooded US soldier would do... We broke off and closed distance. 

 Now only three, my team commander, my team leader, and myself with one language assistant (terp) and a small team of approx. ten ANP moved on the enemy's known location. Crossing a danger area, in this case a large open field, we fell under hostel fire. Returning fire only in the general direction we suspected as the shots point of origin. We continued to close distance.

 Once across the field we came to a trench. Dug out to aid in the irrigation of crops and provide drinking water for the large chain of villages a few short kilometers away. Utilizing  said trench, we were able to move at a high rate of speed towards a local national's (LN) compound. Still under fire from outside the trench we came upon an armed insurgent in the trench. Without choice, we put him down without hesitation, and continued on. Reaching the end of the trench, we refused to give up and moved forward on ground level utilizing what little cover we could find to avoid incoming gun fire, and laying down quite the wall of shots ourselves. The insurgents knew now, we would not give up, we would never stop. They took false refuge in a grape field, hoping to be over-looked. They were not!! 

 As point man in the modified wedge formation. I was the first to come across resistance. Commanding the insurgent to his feet and to place his hands upon his head. He complied, dropping the rag he was clutching to the dirt. A rag rapped tightly around a loaded Russian 8.5mm pistol. As I glanced over my shoulder to check on the distance between myself and the rest of my team, the insurgent took advantage. Diving to the ground and grabbing his rag attempting to unwrap the pistol hidden within. I warned him to drop his weapon, now, close enough, my terp repeated my instructions in the insurgents native tongue. He did not comply. I fired on him, shuffling him loose the mortal coil with three shots. A scream of fear rang out from in front of me. Another insurgent waiting in the trenches of the field a few short meters away. Moving in on the origin of the scream, now re-joined with my team, we quickly located the next insurgent. Refusing to comply to any and all commands, the insurgent reached for the pistol hidden in his pocket and was also promptly shuffled loose the mortal coil. At this time, all went silent... The fight was over... As helicopters began to circle over head, we made our way back to the UAHs. We then passed the job of Battle Damage Assessment (BDA) onto another team, and returned to our compound for a standard de-briefing.

 This was not the first fire fight I, nor my team had seen. We continued our mission as if it had been just another bad day in "the suck".

 For everyone but myself, it had been. For me, mail stopped coming, seemingly lost somewhere between here and there. My then girlfriend, left me via e-mail for a close personal friend back home. I was injured in an IED blast causing damage to my shoulder, and hearing. My orders were lost and I was stuck in Afghanistan for an additional two months before I could be sent home. Only to land on the 3rd of July whilst any and all who could help find my, again lost follow on orders to my de-mobilization. Stuck in N.Carolina, I was forced to spend $500 dollars on a rental car to make the drive up the east coast to my home. Arriving at 0300hrs, with no phone nor numbers I could recall. I had no place to go. Family all asleep, friends relocated or passed out drunk enough to not here my banging on their doors. I slept in my tiny rental car. The next morning the 4th of July, I could not have been any happier to be home. Until I sprained my ankle on a broken stair walking up to my father's door to surprise him and spent the next 4hrs in an emergency room.

 The next few months, right up till now and on-going. My life has remained the same. The lost of my father, less than two months after my return. Again, my new then girlfriend taking me for half my savings and pulling a "Houdini" with a coke dealer. The truck I purchased as a reward for my time in Afghanistan. Victim of a hit and run by another car whilst parked. I was drugged (pot brownies) at a party just three days before a mandatory urinalysis for my unit. And subsequently separated from the Army. I've since lost my civilian job, and been forced to sell my truck for a fraction of its worth just to get out from under the payment. I'm plagued with nightmares of my experience from that day, as well as of events that I've never bore witness to. The list goes on and on..... 

 Coming to a point where I couldn't stand it any longer. I sought guidance. Seeing a friend in the city of Salem, Ma. I was given a Tarot reading. Not that I put much stock into it then.  The number 21 came up during said reading. I was asked if it meant anything to me, being told at this time that it was of some great and dark significance. I began to tell her that it had been a day of death for my family stretching two generations. And, briefly explaining in little detail the story you've just read. That's when it was laid on me. "You shouldn't be here" 

In order for you to understand my secret, I thought it best to start with its origins. Hence the story you just read. My secret, maybe the hardest thing I've ever admitted. Perhaps why I'm doing it here and not to anyone that knows me... My secret is, I'm scared. I'm scared everyday that I will never know happiness. I will never know another day without darkness surrounding everything in my life. I'm scared that I should have died that day.

Comments  

 

0 #2 RE: The Day I Was Supposed To Die — Harryangstom 2010-08-05 19:19

Never feel shame for being human. Talk with Vietnam veterans. They will tell you how to survive after he'll.

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0 #1 You Are Strong — Just_My_Thoughts 2010-07-22 15:55

I have to say, your story moved me. But as I read the words I realized you are here because you are strong. You can change your destiny, you have to look deep within yourself, choose to live outside the darkness, see the light outside. I have learned this from experience, all though not quite the same as yours, but I learned it all the same. You are what you make yourself! Don't be scared. Here to listen if you want.

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