Story Peeps Change Lives

Beat Up By #1 DAD

Member: Sin

I’d have to say it all started when I was about nine or ten. My brother and I were living on my dad’s farm in Ga. We never really got beat too bad back then. We were normal boys doing normal stupid things. I think that my father was getting warmed up to it at this time in my life. I was always lying about a lot of little stupid things and would only be made to write lines and receive whippings from a switch I was made to pick out.

Well at this time my mother and father were getting their second divorce so I guess it made him in a rage all the time. He would get so mad every time he saw me, because I was like my mother and acted like her at times. Well he met some new lady and moved to Delaware where we were made to visit every summer. It started to get bad the first summer in Delaware. (I can’t remember all the details because I have tried to block most of it out over the years)

Anyways the first summer we got there he was getting his new farm set up and so we were made to help. You have to understand my father and new step mother were into an Amish lifestyle and an old school way of punishing children. As usual I would lie and so I was made to go weed his garden where he would sit and watch me with my brother making fun of me and kicking me (brother never attacked me). Well if I couldn’t get the root up then he would become furious because the weed would grow back so he would shove me on my back and stand over me punching me all over my body until my brother would usually cry or try to stop him from hurting me. I remember one of his favorite games was to make us stare at a corner in the ceiling and if our eyes moved we would get hit. This usually happened at least three times a week and only before bed. I don’t need to say but I would always look away to look at him and would always get a hard hit in response.

Every summer I would go there I was made to believe I wasn’t good enough for life, and so of course tried to kill myself a couple times but couldn’t go through with it for love of my mother. One time in particular I was made to sleep a lot of the time in a goat house he had for his goats that was in a fenced in area to keep them safe from foxes (which let me say to a young boy seeing foxes and coyotes every night right outside the fence makes you very very scared every night because you knew they were very hungry and only wanted in at some food) well one day I woke up and there was a note saying that there was a corndog made for me in the kitchen and to not mess with anything just to get the food and go back outside. Well I disobeyed as you can imagine and went in his room where I found a gun. This gun had apparently been sitting there for awhile and had a layer of dust on it I picked that gun up and held it to my head cried to myself for a little bit and set it back down and went back to my goat pen. That night I was abruptly awoken by a thump on the top of my head.

I was asked what I touched in his room and replied "nothin". That seemed to infuriate him and he smacked me with his Maglite a couple more times. I was never that scared I was gonna die I could see it in his eyes he wanted me dead. I ended up throwing up on myself and he just laughed about it and said I deserved it and to go back to sleep with my vomit covered clothes still on. I obeyed.

Understand I now have a hatred for goats and because every night without fail I would get shit on once and pissed on multiple times. Goats are disgusting animals.

I prayed and screamed at god any chance I had to ask him beg him demand him kill me and that there must be something wrong with me for my life to be so horrible even thought I had a demon in me at one point because I was made to believe I was evil.

My father one day decides while walking with me and my bro that he needs to piss. I was wearing my favorite hat my mom had got me. He demanded me give it to him so I did as I was told having no idea what he was going to do. Yes he pissed all in my hat and laughed in my face while I cried and told me if I loved the hat so much I could have it back and placed the pissed filled hat right back on my head. It was one of the most humiliating things ever done to me.

.........I do not feel like writing anymore at this point in time because I am speaking of things I haven’t said in years or even thought of so I will try to write a second part at some point............... 

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+1 #2 RE: Beat Up By #1 DAD — Suzy 2011-02-17 17:13

I know what its like to not want to write anymore. They say that writing down your thoughts or speaking out loud about your past is a healing process. But the funny thing about that is that everytime you write and speak those horrible memories are dredged up again and its too long of a healing process. I know I prayed for god to take me a few times when I was a kid too. Take your time with your thoughts and hang in there. suzy

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+1 #1 RE: Beat Up By #1 DAD — CJ 2010-08-18 10:15

Your are a better person your actions show that for sure, The world is full of evil including family members.. From my bad past I learend to love other people and not to ever hurt anyone in ways that are so awful and cruel... I learned compassion from my evil past by choice we all have the power to be better and i choise to kill the bad seed and be a better me ... Hope you have a great life ...CJ

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