Story Peeps Change Lives

Teenage Pregnancy Changed My Life

Member: sweetsgirl

What normally should have been the happiest time in my life, was beginning to be the saddest one also. Sixteen and pregnant. "This can't be happening to me" I said as I crouch in the small bathroom at work with my seventh pregnancy test.

A wave of nausea hit me, suddenly I feel my legs start to buckle from underneath me. What am I going to do? I asked myself. I have to tell him, with that I get up the courage and walk to the payphone.

Hello, I said as the person I have been with for 2 1/2 years on and off answers the phone. I have something important to talk to you about. I AM PREGNANT! I'm not sure what I plan to do. Do you think that you will be there for me, I asked. Dead silence on the other end of the line. Then out of nowhere I find out he has been seeing someone else. She also is pregnant...with twins. Oh my God what am I going to do now. I have to go I say as I hang up.

I don't really remember much else after that call that day. With everyday that passes, I lie in my bed wondering who I can tell my secret to. I notice my belly growing fuller and start to hide my new found figure under large baggy clothing. Small flutters which feel like butterfly kisses in my belly awaken me with the thought that this is my reality.

Scared and alone, I slowly begin to realize that its me and my belly against the world. Five months pregnant now, and  my small belly is getting rounder, I decide its finally time to speak with my doctor. Walking into the doctors office, I notice all eyes on me. Is it that noticeable? I ask myself. So I quietly sit alone in the corner, waiting for my name to be called. My Dr. worried that I have waited so long to get prenatal care advises me of all my options. I am keeping my baby, I say sounding more like a defensive child than a woman. I leave the office feeling more confused than when I walked in.

Slowly I start to tell a few friends, hoping none will tell my Mother. Like this is something I will be able to hide forever. A week later I miss my next appointment and a letter goes to my house. Dear ms.... You have missed your prenatal appointment. my mother reads. I get a frantic call down at my older sisters house. Come home now, she says. The walk up four flights seemed like I was climbing a mountain. Finally at the door I braced myself took a deep breath and walked in.

What came next was a shock. What is this she said holding up the doctors note. How far along are you? Those were the last words I remembered her saying. I walked around in a haze for the next few weeks. Trips to Canada and Delhi to try and convince me to stay and raise my child so I wouldn't embarrass my family. I laugh at the thought of that one, what are we in the 50's.

As the days go by my stress level exceeds. This baby won't stop moving. The pain catches me by surprise almost as if I don't know I'm pregnant. What is going on I am only 5 Months. A trip to the Doctor confirmed the worst. I am in active labor. I can't have my baby now, its too soon.  Fear makes me shake and feel sick to my stomach. I wish I had my mothers support, she is here but only because she has to be.What about the man who helped me create this beautiful creature i am carrying. I see him walk through the room door for a brief second made some excuse and left right back out 20 mins later with a promise to come back. That would be the last visit from him till after the baby was born.

With neither of the two people I needed to be there to help me on this journey. I face my fears all alone. Two scary months in an out of the hospital on complete bed rest. This baby is fighting to come out. My young womb too fragile to hold this growing child inside of me. It's as though my body is rejecting her. Everything they do is only a temporary fix. Too young to understand the consequences of my actions. I long to hold my beautiful child in my arms and feel unconditional love for the very first time in my life.

Home now at almost 8 months I think I started to pee myself. Nope, no such luck, onto my next trip to the hospital. However, this would be the last one. As if preterm labor wasn't enough, now my water was leaking. To prevent infection I had to be admitted. A few scattered visitors came to help me pass the time. As well as the young girl in the next room.

How sad it was to be placed on a floor with women who had just lost their babies. Cries from the other rooms, and the quiet whispers of people as they past yours made this place almost unbearable. Looking out the window I wanted to just scream. Pretend that this was all just a dream that I would soon be waking from. I get up and feel a gush as I run to the bathroom. It was like someone had dropped a bucket of water on the floor below me. My water had broken. The pain started to set in as I paced back and forth to the nurses station. Honey, just go relax its not time yet. I can't believe they are telling me to relax. This baby is ready to fall out.

As the hours tick by, the pain gets increasingly worse. The lady in the bed next to me asks if I'm okay. Her husband quickly hushes her up and closes the curtain. All alone once again to face this pain. Pacing the floor I debated over and over should I call him. I pick up the payphone and dial the number, ring ring hello, his father picked up. I quickly hung up the phone. Walking to the nurses station again, I beg them to help me. You have plenty of time, the nurse said. Why don't you go back to your room and when you have another contraction ring the bell. I've been ringing that darn bell for hours and no one had come, I said. I walk about 10 feet when all the sudden the worst pain I've ever felt sent me doubling over.

Echoing, in the background I heard the nurses start talking to me. Honey try to calm down, lets go lay back down and we'll call the dr. Shut up, I said in my head. I'm trying to concentrate on not passing out. Her contractions are 2 1/2 mins apart. Take her down immediately. Sit down in this wheelchair we are going for a ride. Sit down, hahaha I can touch this baby's head with my hand right now. Down in the birthing room a little Chinese lady comes in. Hooks me up to all these machines and checks me. First baby, this could be 24hrs, just try to get some rest. Is there someone you want me to call, she says. Can you please call my Mom.

That was at 1:30 am. By 5:00 am I'm still all alone. I ring the bell and the nurse comes in. Can you help me please I say softly. In a thick West Indian accent she says you'll know when this baby is ready. Do you hear all this screaming down here that will be you, she said with a laugh as if I don't know my own body. As she starts to walk out of the room, I open up my legs and yell look the babies head is right here. The nurse turns around sees the babies head and yells set up cart STAT, this baby is almost out.

My Midwife runs in I close my eyes and could hear my mothers footsteps in the background. Mommy, I said in my most childlike voice. Your mom is on her way, says the nurse. No my Mom is here, I can here her footsteps. Push I'm prompted. I don't want to push. Can't we do this another day, I say. Laughter fills the air. No Mommy you have to push, this baby is ready to meet you. I feel like I'm being torn in two. The babies head is stuck just at her ears when my mother finally walks in the room. Just then I push, they pop out her shoulders and she slides out. Oh my God my mother says as they hand the baby to me. She looks just like you when you were born.

Hi baby, Happy birthday, I love you so much and have been waiting for you, I say as I kiss her beautiful round face. Take a picture Mommy. Grandma your gonna have to hold the baby, she's bleeding and we need to stop it. No please not another shot, I say as if I didn't just go through labor. The bleeding finally stopped and they told my mother they would keep me in that room for 1/2 hour to bond with the baby before they move me to recovery.

1/2 hour turns into 2 all the while we sit and look over every part of my new baby girl. She is perfect and 100% mine. The time comes for us to move to recovery, which is one big room with at least 8-10 beds. They wheel me and the baby in and my mother says goodbye.

Right then I look around and notice I'm surround by new fathers doting over their wives appreciatively. Okay Ms...it's time to take the baby. I look around at all the couples and I begin to cry please don't take her yet. They agree to let her stay with me for a little while longer. When they take her away, the loneliness creeps up and the tears start flowing.

Once again all eyes on me, this time not with a condescending look but one of shear sadness and pity. The curtain around me begins to slowly close. First one in a room, wow I must have been something of a spectacle. Can I see my baby, I asked. She's still in the nursery so I walk down the long hallway. I go in and look around. I think I see my baby. I walk over and take a look inside and the nurse directs me to another bassinet. I laugh at myself, how can I not know my own baby, they must all look alike. I pick her up walk to a rocking chair and sit down. I gaze lovingly at her. You were worth it my sweet child.

All my pain erased that day. All the sadness suddenly a distant memory. She makes the room fill with laughter and makes my days shine brighter. I know now I will never be alone again.