Story Peeps Change Lives

I Forgave Him

Written by Just_My_Thoughts

My life wasn't always easy, hell it still isn't. I just know how to deal with it a little different now than I did back then.

I was at that age where you experiment with life. You test your boundaries to see how far you can push them and the people around you. I guess I pushed the limit once too many times. Being sent away from everything and everyone you know is hard. The moving part I handled it was what came after that I didn't know what to do, how to react or really whether or not to forgive.

As I said, I got sent away to live with relatives (aunt and uncle) in a different state. They were close relatives so I knew (or so I thought) that I would be safe. Everything started out okay, got signed up for school, went to church (not by choice) and tried to make some friends. The making friends part was hard. Hell, I thought my parents where strict these two had them beat. I wasn't able to do much of anything that a normal teenager would do. No phone calls to friends to talk about boys, no calls from boys to talk about those friends, no weekends out with friends. Oh wait, I take that back, I did get to go out on a semi-formal date. A guy from church asked me out and my aunt said yes. We went to a roller skating rink and of course my aunt had to go too. Talk about embarrassing. Him and I would skate around that rink holding hands, when we got to where my aunt was sitting, I let go real fast. I didn't want her to see, but she did anyway. That was the only date, the only time out with friends unless they came to my house. I was never allowed to go to theirs.

At one point I thought maybe I was over reacting. I thought I was looking into something that wasn't really there, you know, my imagination. He would give me a tap on the ass now and then. Maybe pop upstairs while I was changing and not letting me know he was standing there. I did say something, the reply was, if it offends you, then I won't do it. Well DUH! It went on.

It got to the point where I hated staying home alone with him. I made sure I was either having a friend over or I went with her. Nothing changed, still it happened. It finally got to the point where I could take no more. I did some real bad things, things that I regret now, but I had to get out of there. And that is what I did, they finally, after many mishaps, getting into trouble, etc., were going to send me home. Yes, it was finally going to be over. Oh but there has to be a twist, right. I thought he would finally leave me alone.

The day I was packing, I needed something bigger to put my stuff in. I had been there for over a year. He went out to the garage, and I tagged along because he said he needed help. I guess he did. That big old trunk was up in the crawl space of the garage. He opened the sliding door to the van because he used that to step up to reach the trunk. He grabbed the trunk, handed it to me and climbed down. He then asked me, "Can I ask you a question?" I was naive, I said yes. He grabbed my hand and sat me down in the van. Right then and there I started to get more than a little worried but I sat. He then tried to lean me back into the van. At this point I knew something was wrong so I jerked my hand away, saying no and stood up. He looked at me with a blank face and replied to my actions with, "That is what I was going to ask you; to lay down and show me what you have". I will tell you what, I booked my skinny little butt back to the house with that trunk and packed just as fast as I could. I really couldn't wait to get home.

They took me to airport and waved as I got on that plane. Relief spread through me. I was free from him or so I thought.

Years have passed since the day. Throughout the years I told very few people who I trusted, my little secret. More out of shame than anything else. During the years, as I grew older, I learned that forgiving someone is the method to help you forget, even if it's just a little. Him and I started talking to many years later. He always wanted to know how I was, how my girls were and I knew that despite the things he did, he did love me. I forgave that man and I am glad that I did. In the end, I was the one who spoke at his funeral. I wrote him a letter thanking him. Because with either of them I would have been in foster care which could have been worse.

That is my secret. To this day his wife (my aunt) knows nothing about it. I will not break her heart and I do not want her to think less of me. She is like a mother to me, always has been and always will be.

Author Profile: Peggy Sue LaRue

This author has published 2 articles so far. More info about the author is coming soon.