I just want to be free

Written by bad_seed84

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I-want-to-be-freeI wish to win the lottery,seems like right now it's my only escape; my only small flicker of hope that's left. if i am to ever get away from you,then the exception to the rules is: to not be afraid, to step out there and take the plunge. after all, isn't that what life's really about,taking risks to see where they lead u? I accept, what I can't change from you,because i know that in this fucked up thing called "reality" money talks and bullshit walks; my gift of gaber can only lead me so far. but ur money keeps us floating,even if it is barely. we are blessed and not lacking remotely the essential things. I want to be alone in truth, but i also want to be loved,respected,and held. i want communication and companionship abundantly,no-holds barred. I get lonely being here,while ur out in the "real world,"meeting babe's and deceiving me...all while u legally earn ur money. i'm in the house behind these walls 24-7,cleaning,cooking,doing school work,and silently whispering to myself and to God "Please let me win the lottery,or please help me find someone with connections to help me land a decent job." i'm tired of my wants being put in the fucking shadows left only to view,by the dull glimmer of the candle light; which soon burns out and the shadows of my dreams,needs,and wants right along with them. you selfish bastard, i won't blame you. all i need is the strength to get up and walk away; to not fear homelessness,but embrace my destiny and ride the wind. in retrospect,I just want to be free: from the lies,the perversion,the loss of respect,the infidelity,and all the things that make you,"YOU!"
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Author Profile: bad_seed84

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Comments  

 
0 #3 never give up — caseyneopets 2011-05-30 09:16
fight with everything you have! go to a womans shelter or employment agency or start babysitting somthing to get money and sock it away untill you have what you need to get a bus ticket or whatever and move on with life. you dont need the lottery you need to change your thinking, no retreat no surrender never give up
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+1 #2 thoughts — Bama 2011-05-18 08:49
We make our own prisons, you can be free without the lottery, but it's not easy. Plenty of people make money from home or find ways to make extra income. Call any connections you haven even old highschool friends for jobs. Someone needs you , the hard part is finding them.
Don't give up!
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+1 #1 It is not easy — Vonnegut 2011-02-28 12:18
Nothing of value can happen to a mind, which knows exactly what it wants.


Thought is absent in seeing things intuitively. When you perceive directly, there is no thinking. When you think you understand, you don't. You do not think that you are alive, you know that you are alive.

Spiritual maturity lies in the readiness to let go of everything. The giving up is the final step. But the real giving up is in realising that there is nothing to give up, for nothing is your own. It is like deep sleep - you do not give up your bed when you fall asleep - you just forget it.
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