Story Peeps Change Lives

The Epiphany

Written by VinceM

Before I had my epiphany I didn’t even know what the word was or what the experience can be like. The story that you’re going to read here describes how and why an epiphany was triggered in my life.

All my life I tried to give people the benefit of a doubt, but it always seemed that somehow I would always get screwed in the deal whether it was by a friend, a stranger, or even a family member.

I was living by myself in a small town in central Massachusetts. I would visit my family on the weekends to catch up on family news and to finally eat a good home cooked meal. Back then I wasn’t much of a cook, so I ordered take out a lot.

I was dating a high school sweet heart, her name was Alexandra. We had a pretty good relationship, well at least most of the time.

Growing up I became a person who hardly trusted anyone, because of a constant stream of betrayals that somehow always found their way into my life.  Alexandra was not only a girlfriend that I loved and trusted, she was also my best friend. I confided all my secrets and hidden emotions to her and she was the only person in my life that understood me.

After I moved to my own apartment, we started to see each other less and our relationship began to deteriorate. We both saw it happening, but we didn’t have a clue on how to truly fix it. We tried different things like seeing each other more but the train was already on the tracks to bachelorhood.

At the time I was in denial about the imminent break up. After all, I didn’t want to lose the only person in my life that I really trusted and confided in for five years.

We broke up at least 3 times when I was living by myself. The shortest lasted 5 minutes and the longest lasted 1 week. We just couldn’t let go of each other because we did experience real love for each other. If it wasn’t for the love, the relationship would have ended much sooner.

Alexandra was the girl who I would think about all the time. It wasn’t like she was a model, but she was cute and I fell in love with her unexpectedly after another moment in my life, where one of my friends who just broke up with her; ruined my summer vacation in 1999.

My friend Andy begged me for 4 months to take my brand new Ford Mustang convertible from Massachusetts to Florida in July. For months I told him that there is no way that I would take my new car there; especially since I still haven’t received it because the Ford Plant in Michigan had an explosion in 1999 that delayed my custom ordered car.

Well I got my car in July and caved into my friends’ requests and decided to take my new convertible Mustang on the trip. We’ve been planning the trip since March of 1999, along with my other friend Chris.

At the time I was working at a company that developed aerospace parts and I was programming their CMM machine. The CMM machine was basically a robot arm with a probe at the tip that would touch parts depending on the coordinates and vectors that I programmed to inspect the part for proper machined dimensions. The job was okay, but I definitely knew that I wasn’t going to work there for the rest of my life; I had bigger plans.

Well it was the last Friday before I started my vacation and I called Andy on my way home from work. Andy was at Chris’s house and he told me to come over there.

When I got to Chris’s house I noticed that Andy had a weird look on his face, as he sipped on some Canadian Whiskey which he offered to me. I wasn’t interested and asked him what was up. Andy decided that he didn’t want to go to Florida anymore; with no warning and practically no excuse.

I was furious! We’ve been planning this trip forever, and I finally decided to take my convertible there which would fit in nicely driving down South Beach Miami. What really got me was that Andy waited till the last possible moment to tell me. I remember thinking about how I’ve been bragging to all my co-workers about the trip and now I’m going to look like a fool.

That’s it! I thought to myself, I’m tired of Andy being so fickle. Andy was a pothead and he would routinely change his mind about doing things, while we were on our way to doing them. For instance, I remember we were going to a bowling alley one night where all high school kids hang out. Andy was the designated driver, because I didn’t have a car at the moment since I was waiting for Ford to finally build mine.  Andy drove us right before the driveway to the bowling alley on the turnpike and then decided that he didn’t feel like bowling anymore! Chris and I were mad, but this was beginning to be a common occurrence.

So that’s it, I’m not dealing with Andy’s ridiculous behavior any more I thought to myself.  I felt like punching him for a second, but then I decided to part my ways with him instead. I was completely over this BS that he kept putting us through.

I drove home and thought about how I could teach him a lesson. A naughty thought popped into my mind. Andy’s ex-girlfriend was cute and I knew for a fact that she liked me, by the way she always looked at me. I called her up and within a few minutes I made a date with her to go to Boston.

That’s how I began dating Alexandra, at first it was for spite to get back at Andy, but then we both fell in love with each other. We were inseparable at least for the first 3 years J

So one day and five years into the relationship with Alexandra, we had a huge fight. This fight went past all of our personal boundaries and we said things to each other that we knew would hurt us deeply. I was devastated as I’m sure she was too.

That night, I was greatly depressed. I was tired of being betrayed and alone in the world. I was tired of being lied to and misled. I prayed to God that night for the first time in a very long time. I didn’t use any special prayers like “Our Father” or something. I simply spoke my mind to God mentally and let him know that I’m sick and tired of the crappy life that I have. I was very emotional because I just lost someone that I really loved, and at that time I felt like nothing was going to make me happy anymore. For the first time in my life I cried myself to sleep. When I was younger I cried only on two occasions, this time, and the last time I broke up, but with a different girlfriend; Mellissa.

I woke up the next day feeling somewhat different. I felt lighter as if I just didn’t care about all the baggage I used to carry around in my life. I simply just didn’t care what people thought or what could happen that day. I was simply just there, just present.

The whole day was very mystical, everything seemed fresh and even the colors on trees and everything else outside seemed more vivid. I didn’t quite understand what was happening, I just felt very different, I felt okay, I felt like everything is going to be okay no matter what happens from then on.

The more the day went on, the happier I was getting about life. It was so strange, but all these thoughts and emotions from my past just surfaced on my way home and during my 60 mile drive from my computer engineering job.

I remember thinking of every single moment in my life where someone betrayed me and I forgave them completely during my drive. Just imagine remembering 25 years of wrongs made on you and you finally being able to forgive everyone and let go of any lingering resentment. It was Amazing!

I was so happy after doing all the forgiveness thoughts that I experienced tears of joy for the first time in my life. Up and to the point, I thought my girlfriend and was lying to me when she said that you could be so happy that you could cry.

I went to get something to eat and instead of going through the drive thru like I always did, I actually went inside and ate. Every moment felt so unique and so new, I can’t really explain it better than that. It was as if I just started living! Or you could say it’s like having your eyes wide open for the first time.

After dinner I went home and felt inspired to crack a book open called “Rich Dar, Poor Dad”. I read that book in one sitting. Before this epiphany happened, I hardly read anything that wasn’t a magazine, or a book that I had to read to get certified as a Microsoft Engineer.

That book inspired me to quit my job and start my own business, I’ll write that story some other time. I can truly attest to you that an epiphany will completely change your paradigm. It’s been six years since my epiphany and I never looked back. I keep changing for the better and I finally know who I really am and what I’m made of. I wish everyone could have an epiphany sometimes, because it would definitely make the world a better place. If you have one or had one, I would suggest that you don’t try changing people in your life. I did try to change my whole family but some of it did take and I’m extremely grateful for that because before the epiphany my family life was pretty lame.

Author Profile: VinceM

This author has published 26 articles so far. More info about the author is coming soon.