Story Peeps Change Lives

Whose Son Am I Now?

Written by m.

I remember growing up in Miami, life at the time was hard because I was a white kid growing up in a hood that had no white people in it...I had to do whatever it took to get by....my dad was gone and my mom was always drunk....I don’t ever remember her not being that way....I was always into fights cause everyone treated me as if I had money...I guess it was the skin color??...little did they realize I was just, if not, maybe a lot poorer then they were....I would watch my friends family’s get along so good, and I would cry myself to sleep at night wishing I could just die or be killed in some type of way... and at night when everyone had to leave cause it was getting dark, I would be the only one left sitting on the curb....                                                                                                          

            In my adventures living down south I came across so many different types of people...mostly street dealers an hoes....bums and druggy....gangbangers were the worst... Since I did not affiliate myself with no one in particular, I had to watch my back too many times. When I was 12 I started selling guns my friends would steal out of people’s houses. I never really robbed with them cause for some reason or another I felt bad that someone would work hard just for someone to take it....so robbery was not really for me. Even though I just justified the things I did to make myself feel better....I’d rather sell drugs or guns....guns were my favorite cause they always seem to be about power...

                  And having nothing all my life, I wanted something to make up for it...I look back on it now an think to myself....how many lives I’ve destroyed or torn apart by just placing weapons in the hands of killers....its saddens me to know end to think maybe what I did might of took someone’s life or lives.....it f%cks me up and I suffer from nightmares just to know I have done things that were not right. but seemed like at that time it was what I had to do to get by.....I hated my life at that time....I wanted nothing more then to be killed or die so I wouldn’t have to live such a sad life..My mom put so much on I and I had to come up with money so I could pay the bills and rent. She was always drunk....I didn’t know what else to do...she’s my mom and as a son I thought it was what I had to do to keep us going...when I was young...I was molested by some of the guys she brought to the house.......I have suffered from twisted thoughts of sex....and for years I struggled with women an trying to please them.....and even though I have never had sex with a man....I still find it in my fantasies....don’t get me wrong...I’ve meet many sexy women and have had my share of crazy kinky sex with them..But still can’t get away from it all.......

                            It’s been years since I lived in Miami....I think I was fifteen when I finally left that sh#t hole of a county....and even though I still rep 305....I have nightmares of the things I did and went though there...I’ve traveled a lot an lived in many states...I’ve had many good times and been in many bad ones....as I get older I look back an laugh at some of the adventures I have been through...but it saddens me to see the way life is going now...we are all slaves....working to pay the rich peoples bills......whose son am I now????  brainwashed by society.....controlled by the governments lies.... we are all just drifting at sea with no life vests.......

Author Profile: m.

This author has published 6 articles so far. More info about the author is coming soon.

Comments  

 

0 #1 Another Real Person — VinceM 2010-07-15 19:07

Keep up the writing! I'm looking forward to more of your stories.

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