The Lie and Life of a Pothead
Written by Lazrus
It all started the summer before my first year of high school. A group of my friends and I were hanging out at my old middle school around 10 at night in July.
Freddy, Mike, Chris, and I were smoking cigarettes while leaning back on the bike racks at our old middle school, as we reminisced about our school days. Freddy looked at me in a funny way and asked me if I want to try something new. I wasn’t sure what he was hinting at, and that’s when he pulled out a plastic baggy with green buds.
I knew immediately that this must have been weed. I never smoked weed before, but I did once run into one of my friends from middle school (Rick) after class, and I caught him and his friends doing shotguns behind Walmart.
If you never seen someone getting or giving a shotgun, your first impression would be that you’re about to see two people kiss. This at first made me really uncomfortable, because both of my friends were guys and all of the sudden they leaned in towards each other. Once they were almost lip to lip, I noticed Rick blowing a cloud of light gray smoke into his friend’s mouth! When I saw this I was actually relieved at first that I wasn’t going to witness a gay kiss, and then I was very confused because I never seen or heard of anyone doing shotguns.
So Freddy pulled out the sack of what appeared to be weed and he let me examine it. I actually had no true idea if it was real or not, but at the time I did think it was real.
Freddy and Chris said that they’ve smoked it before and they were going to do it now, and I could have some if I want. I remember feeling anxious and scared about trying it; after-all, this was drugs I thought, and I was only 14 at the time.
After much deliberation in my mind I decided to try it, and trust me I was actually pretty scared because the school that I went to did a number on me when it came to scaring us away from all drugs.
Well Freddy rolled it up and soon we were all smoking this green substance. And after awhile, I did think I felt something. I thought I felt different in some way. I remember feeling as if I didn’t quite know who I really was, I felt detached from the world I knew. Luckily all four of us were goof balls and before long, we were dying of laughter in the school parking lot. Well that’s how I got introduced to Marijuana.
Soon marijuana became a part of my everyday life. All my friends in school smoked it and who was I to object. We smoked afterschool in various places, laughed our butts off, and it seemed like we decided right then and there that we were going to smoke it forever.
I actually remember Freddy saying “I’m going to smoke until I die”, lol, yep he actually said that.
For years and years I smoked weed practically every day, I never thought that I was an addict, but if you really look at the situation as a third person you would probably deduce that I was.
They call marijuana a gateway drug and because I was so hooked on smoking it, I was terrified of trying any other drug except alcohol of course.
My friends on the other hand began experimenting with the whole gamut of drugs: acid, shrooms, mescaline, pills, cocaine, etc… And slowly I began to notice that we weren’t having fun together anymore. My friends became more paranoid and just from being around their energy, I acquired some of their paranoia too.
It’s weird, at first weed was the greatest thing ever. We would smoke and laugh for hours on end. After my friends began dabbling with everything else, weed was not enough for them and we didn’t laugh as much anymore, but that didn’t stop us from continuing to smoke it.
I began to grow apart from my good friends because the path that they went on seemed to be going downhill. I felt confused and worried that they’d hate me for not hanging out with them as much, but I just didn’t feel good hanging out with them and their friends who just abused the hell out of drugs.
So I started to hang out with other friends, people who primarily smoked weed and drank. Sure my old pals with their newly formed attitudes towards life probably talked trash about me, but hanging out with people who just kept digging into a more depressing existence was not for me anymore. My new friends reminded me of the good times I had with my old pals smoking weed.
So I kept smoking and the years kept changing, I progressed from normal weed (Shwag), to Chocolate Tie, Jamaican Red Hair, to Kind Bud, to Hydro, and then finally to Purple Haze; my weed of choice.
Once I started smoking Purple Haze, I immediately fell in love with it. Sometimes it made me feel so amazing that words can’t truly paint a picture of the actual feeling. But if you must, picture feeling perfect oneness and your favorite music gave you chills down your spine, because it felt like it was from heaven.
Then there was the paranoia. I used to get this when I smoked and drove around, because of my history with the police and getting pulled over. Paranoid thoughts rained through my consciousness sometimes without warning causing me to worry about being pulled over, getting caught, and all sorts of bad things that could happen to me.
Purple Haze is potent and it changes how you feel about the world and yourself. When I was paranoid I felt vulnerable and I hated that. Because of that feeling, I’d hate to go out to places when I was high, because I didn’t feel like myself.
It’s funny because alcohol usually made me feel the opposite. When I drank I felt like I can take on armies and beat up anyone who pissed me off; interesting contrast between the two drugs, isn’t it?
Although weed had the effect of taking away my inner strength, I continued to abuse it almost every day for a decade. I stopped a few times for a year or so, but it always found its way back to my heart.
I guess with any drug you have the memories of good times that bring you back towards using again. Its does amazing sublime moments in life that I shared with people while high on marijuana that made me love the drug.
In actuality just like any other drug, I had more dull and negative moments with the drug use than those happy moments that I’d look and hope to experience with each use
In my mind I knew that I couldn’t smoke and drink forever, and I began praying to god for a way for me to grow up and out of these childish patterns.
Well I did get the wakeup call from God and it forced me to become a different person by force more than anything else. What was the wakeup call? God apparently thought that the answer to my prayers was an extremely painful condition called pancreatitis.
Once I got my first dose of pancreatitis I dropped all bad habits (smoking, drinking, weed) pretty quickly and I also became a lot more serious about my life and future.
It’s funny, I always heard the phrase be careful for what you wish for, but I never understood it until I realized how my prayers got answered. I got my wish alright, but I’m not exactly jumping for joy about the pancreatitis being the answer to my prayers to grow up.
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Comments
Not everyone is lazy because of weed. I have a friend who seems to be productive and he regularly tokes. Me on the other hand, I like me life just fine without it.
Good luck and always work to be a success!
Quoting Dahliajane:
but people are people and people that abuse things can abuse or become addicted to anything.
I don't think pot is BAD at all.
I also don't smoke pot right before I want to climb a mountain.
love
Weed is weed. By itself it's not that bad, but it does make you lazy, binge eat, and eventually anti-social. At least it did that to me and many many friends of mine who are potheads.
People who smoke blunts everyday rarely make it to be on the cover of Fortune or Forbes; because they are just too damn lazy to work hard for their goals. Instead they fantasize that all they need to do is wishfully think their way to success.
Being a Pothead means you smoke everyday and it is an addiction; psychological as you mentioned.
Also weed wasn’t a huge gateway drug for me… but it was for most of my friends.
When I have kids one day I’ll talk to them about my experiences so that they don’t waste 10 years of their life by being an unproductive pothead that fails to achieve their goals.
With my weed addiction story I wanted people to know what I went through. Because maybe if I read this story 15 years ago, I would have probably passed on trying weed in the first place. Back then I was focused on being a young success and knowing the reality such as weed being more of a roadblock since it makes you lazy; I would have passed on making the mistake as a teenager.
I don’t know your story JustJump but I could have done without the weed addiction.
What is the 'lie' part you are referencing? Weed is used medicinally in a dozen states, it has been scientifically proven to do an assortment of things even the latest in medical technology can't do. Any drug can be abused (even though I don't agree that you abused it), that doesn't mean the drug is inherently bad or evil. It means the user needs some psychological help before they can use it responsibly.
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