Story Peeps Change Lives

Confessions Of A Nobody

Written by Julie

If you would have asked me 12 years ago where I would be now, I would have never thought life would have thrown me a curve ball like this.I would have said "never".

Instead I sit here after  I was living a "white picket fence" life, with a husband, 3 children, a home, dogs, cats the whole nine yards, Wondering where I have went wrong. Questioning why my husband after all these years would betray me, our family our marriage for another woman?

Looking back I saw the signs, but in my own stupidity chose to overlook and deny them. After the truth finally came out what was I suppose to do? What about our kids? Could it ever be worked out? Will those words he spoke so softly haunt me everyday for the rest of our lives. What about the trust? would I ever be able to trust him again.

It felt like a bad dream. But for some strange reason I couldn't hate him. I just could not understand how my best friend, my husband after all these years could do that. How he could throw away our vows, our commitment and possibly our life together. I meant my vows, so I decided we could try and work things out.

Its been 9 months and it no longer feels like a dream, its reality. I figured by now I would at least have my emotions, anger, frustration's under control and by now they would slowly get better. I find my self bitter, depressed and lonely. Keeping the kids from knowing whats going on is the hardest. Sometimes their smarter then adults. If I have done anything right these past 9 months it was sheltering my children from our problems. For that I am grateful.

I feel as I am just sailing on day by day....trying to make things better. Praying hoping and staying optimistic is all I can do. I have forgiven but the pain still fuels my soul.

Author Profile: Julie

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0 #4 RE: Confessions Of A Nobody — Marla-may 2010-11-02 09:51

I have been married for 15 years now and we've been together longer. we are a happy couple but it didn't start out like this I was the good wife and I did everything I was supposed to and even more sometimes. we both had affairs and the pain of these things do not go away but forgiveness in the true sense of the word is a must if your life is going to carry on. It is so hard to put that trust back into someone who has betrayed that most deepest part of your heart but when you forgive you need to really let it go and there is a long process to that especially still living with the person who did this to you but as jean above said it does get better and one day you'll be able to look back and see it as one of your strongest building block in relationship I hope your heart heals fast for you; with me and mine it took around 10 years for me to completely get over it and even though I did it too I left him first to carry out my revenge because that was what it was to me but I learned that my heart was even more broken in the end and worse for wear so looking for the perfect person for me was who I had at home but who had made a bad decision I love my husband but there is still that piece of me that still has issues in certain situation I cannot trust him.

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0 #3 Beware Of CONTROLLERS!!! — spirit.chaser 2010-06-18 10:30

I have had what you wrote on my mind and I can seriously understand your pain. One "connection" that is all to common with issues like this may also be that world famous "CONTROLLER". If someone is trying to control your life in any way, that's a big red flag and get away and out of that relationship as soon as possible. I am male, 51 year's old and during my life, I have not actually heard very many men talk about how they treat their woman BUT I sure hear allot of talk from the women stating these issues. I just wanted to throw that in. It is very important! Knowone has the right to try and CONTROL any other adult in any kind of relationship. Once it starts, get ready for a long ride on one bumpy roller coaster life filled with misery! Good luck!!!

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+2 #2 Men Dream Of Loyalty As "YOU" — spirit.chaser 2010-06-17 23:16

I was just messing around with Craigslist and was bored silly. So I went down another road that I have never been down before and I found this interesting story. I wasn't even a member yet so I went back and made up this name so I could respond. Now that I did that.....my response is you have to look at your situation at a different angle (is very hard to do in times like these). In this modern culture of love and relationships going sour because of an unfaithful partner, it is very difficult to find anyone as loyal as you appear to be just by judging you by how you told your story. I find your story as a repeated story told by many others. In fact, told by way to many others and thats why I must say that you are a person to be complimented. Self esteem, judgement, morals, etc.., will guide you in the right direction. KICK THAT S BAD WORD TO THE CURB.....AND NEVER GO BACK! That old saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is so true. What I find even worse is the idea of your partner betraying you in the worst possible way. Any kind of sex is simply an act of love between a bonded couple in a committed and TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP! For one to cross the line as a "CHEATER"......they have slapped you in the face and they themselves are the "EVIL PERSON"! Don't let his ignorance ruine who you are. Do the right things and get someone worthy of a good woman.......as you are! Stay the way you are........live like you are living and just be yourself. Don't change anything about you............live and learn! "Lessons Learned" is a good song. Making yourself happier by moving in another direction.......PRICELESS!!! Hang in there......it's going to get better. Take him for all he is worth! HE DESERVES A GOOD PAY-BACK!!! Good Luck!!!

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+1 #1 It does get better — Jean 2010-05-30 07:32

We have been married for almost 10 years.About 2 1/2 years in, the same situation happened.We separated& decided to make things work.Much like you,I eventually had no emotions and became depressed.You really will get through this.We are still married,&believe it or not what happened made us a stronger couple.It took a long time for me to trust him again.And even still there will be a few things that make me nervous or question.We now have a very open and honest marriage.He is able to fully share with me his concerns feelings etc as well as I am.I feel that sometimes a man is missing something in his life this is what makes them betray the marriage.It isn't ANYTHING we do wrong."perfect" wives who do everything for their husbands often get betrayed as well.Like me you may one day forget.It is now just a blur in our past.I hope you can seek outside help from a good friend, family member or professional.You need someone to talk your feelings out with.To fully release does wonders!

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