My Bipolar Mother

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biopolar-mother

Madness: A Bipolar Life

When I was little I had no clue that my mom may be a little different than most. It wasn’t until I reached my teenage years that I finally started to put together a picture of why there have been so many harsh arguments in our house throughout my life.

All moms get mad, especially when a child does something wrong, but it’s the method my mom expressed her episodes of anger that caused me, my sister, and my father to wonder about her mental state of mind.

One snow day in December I was celebrating a much appreciated day off from school. I shoveled the snow from the driveway of our new house, to buy myself insurance from triggering a fight about me being lazy. If you had a bipolar parent, then you know exactly why I would do chores, which I considered to be preventive measures to protect my day from being ruined by bipolar mania.

I finished the shoveling and finally had a chance to unwind and watch some daytime TV, of which I hardly got to see. That day Jerry Springer had a show about people who were bipolar, and that’s the day I realized that my mom is most likely a bipolar person.

People who are bipolar basically have two different sets of personalities from what I’ve gathered. One moment they’re happy go lucky, then if something triggers their mood, they snap into an angry and vengeful person. In a way the term Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde truly symbolizes what it can be like living with a person like this.

Watching my mom go through these mood swings throughout my life worried me and it also had a huge impact on the way I grew up and thought about myself. Just imagine a parent telling you horrible things like “I wish you were never born”, when you’re a young kid growing up.

Her crazy mood swings made me question myself in many ways, because she would comment about every trait I had and belittle me for it. It was like living with a ticking time bomb for all of us.

When you’re young most parents encourage you and tell you that you could achieve anything in life. My mom would tell us that we’re losers, good for nothing kids, and that we would never accomplish anything. She said things which I don’t care to even write in this story, but I’m sure you can use your imagination of what my family had to endure.

It’s safe to say that my self esteem was very low growing up and I badly craved attention from outside sources; since my family life was so crummy.  This led me to hanging out with friends that most parents would consider as part of the wrong crowd.  At least to my friends, I could be great in some ways; although, I admit the greatness I exhibited then was juvenile and mischievous.

My dad worked long hours and he hardly had any input about our upbringing. During my 30 years of life, my dad only said one thing to me that can be considered as fatherly advice. The words were “Son you have never tried for something giving it a full 100%”. He told me this during a time where I felt like giving up on a dream of mine and I was acting careless about my duties. Those words were the only words that ever meant something to me coming from him. I wished he told me them about 15 years earlier though…

Is my mom a bad person? I think she can’t help controlling herself, it could be a chemical imbalance in her brain, but even though I tried making her listen to reason when I was an adult about her problem; she would go into denial over it. She’s not a bad person, but it’s hard to take her seriously.

My sister and I always walked on egg shells growing up and our childhood was definitely impacted by the way our mom was raising us. We were both very shy, because we lacked self confidence after being emotionally ripped apart by our mom a million times.

In my mid twenties I was living by myself a few cities away from my parents, when I had an epiphany. I realized in one day that everything I felt, thought, and did only defines my past and it has no bearing on my future. The epiphany released me from the limitations that I was fed in life and it allowed me to become a whole new person. One day I’ll write my epiphany story here on Story Peeps.

After my epiphany I considered it a mission of mine to go to my parents house and bring up the ugly past. I wanted to let them know that I will no longer hold any grudges of any kind against them and that I understand why everything happened. I also wanted to tell them that I forgive them for everything, what’s done is done.

A few days after my epiphany, I jumped into my car and went to their house. Every time I came over, my mom would prepare an awesome home cooked meal and trust me after living on your own for five years, a home cooked meal is something that you really miss.

After dinner I began the most uncomfortable conversation of my life with my parents. I brought up the hurtful things that have been said to me and I told them that’s it’s okay that it happened, I understand, and I forgive them. My dad left the kitchen table at least 5 times, because he was so embarrassed about the things that I brought up. My mom denied saying most of the hurtful things she said, but deep down I knew that she was accepting what I was saying and doing there.

The epiphany caused me to fix my relationship with my entire family and since then, our entire family is much better for it. We are much closer these days than we ever were and after begin betrayed so many times by friends, I truly value my family.

My mom changed a lot from the whole process, but she still has days where she throws fits and starts fights over nonsense. I stopped trying to change her after I realized that you cannot change somebody, they have to change themselves.

Today we all get along, but I wouldn’t consider ourselves The Brady Bunch. I’m happy that everything happened the way it did in my life, it gave me the opportunity to wake up from limitation and discover new traits about me that I never knew I had. One of those traits is that I like writing. I especially like writing about my life and sharing those thoughts anonymously through Story Peeps; hoping that the people who read these stories benefit from them in whatever way they can.

Look for my upcoming story on my epiphany and what triggered it.


( 24 Votes )
Author Profile: VinceM

This author has published 26 articles so far. More info about the author is coming soon.

Comments  

 
+1 #29 Both my parents are this wayMariantheduke 2013-09-14 14:07
Both my parents rage, sometimes together, sometimes at alternating times. They are good people, and there are some good memories (here and there), when they're not screaming at us (me and my sisters). Reading your post helped put things in perspective. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. I love my family, but they are very dysfunctional. I'm not sure if it's them being bipolar, or if it's the result of their won abusive upbringing. We're foreigners, and I always assumed that all foreign families were like mine. Nothing could be further from the truth. Due to my parents odd and skewed views, they find themselves alone, or only have friends that are as disturbed or dysfunctional as they are. My sisters have fared well, but I was always the punching bag in the family...I'm still feeling its impact. It would be nice to make sense of my life, the way you have. I've had those moments of epiphany, but it's always felt like a struggle, since my parents simply want to always be in control. Thank you for sharing your story.
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+3 #28 Same situationLeslie 2013-03-07 10:38
I think my mom is bipolar. She refuses to go to a counselor or talk about anything with dr.s. She is usually a really cool person and would do anything for anyone but let's things get to her, puts me down when angry, and is very controlling. Imhavema steady job and my own place but still for some reason she twists my words around and makes me out like the worse daughter in the world. She never sees the positive in me. When she comes over I could the minutes til she leaves since its nonstop picking at how I am as a person and tries to tell me how to talk. She has said the most hurtful things as well. But I try to blow it off and look at the good I have. That's all anyone can do and not to let anyone's worries affect how you live.
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+1 #27 my mom is just like thatanne 2013-02-18 08:52
i can totally relate to this story and the comments..my brother and i have had to walk on egg shells our entire lives..hes 17 and im 21....and our mother is deffinately bipolar...when she throws her fits, she tries to take us down with her by calling us names, saying she wants to kill herself, and just acting horrible...she even tries to make me fell bad about myself for taking a job and moving....even though i dont love the city i moved to, it is a welcomed changed.... i have always been shy and now that im coming out of that shyness her fits towards me seem to get worse.....i dont know how i can help or what to say to her because i dont want to be the cause for another tantrum...can someone help me on what to say to her to maybe get her som help??………
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+2 #26 my grandma has bp toorina 2013-02-17 00:20
my grandma has this problem too, she has suffered for so many years but yet she denies that she does not have any problem. she even accuses other people of doing such things that actually she carried out. my mother has suffered for the last 40 years of her life. my grandma is very selfish, only thinks about herself, she lies alot and denies terribly. there was even a time where she tried to kill me and my mom. i really hate her, in fact, nobody likes her in my family. i feel really sorry for you all. living with a bp person is most probably like walking on egg shells :sad:
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+2 #25 I am that momBP Mama 2013-02-01 20:06
I found this post after searching for why I behave the way I do. Tonight like many others before I threw a stupid fit and wanted to give up on everything around me. I love my kids with all my heart but am afraid these emotional fits and tantrums are destroying my children and my marriage. I don't know if I am bipolar and frankly too afraid to seek help for fear they will put me in a hospital somewhere. Sometimes I just feel I need to vent. Many fights between my husband I lead to me telling him to leave. I never mean it, but I say it all the time because I guess I just hate making people deal with me like this. People say happiness is a choice but I don't feel it is that easy. Beleive me if I could just cheer up and move on I would do it. Nobody likes feeling like this. I am sure tomorrow will be better. I will apologize like always and the kids will go on about their day ignoring me.
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0 #24 my whole family must be bi-polarer1c 2013-01-31 12:22
i can relate to some of the life style written about, friends suplement for the attention that you dont get from home. in a way i was using them, not intentionally, i planned to have those friends for life, only thing is, my parents divorced, and everytime i met friends, i was quickly moved from them. i stayed in contact with one friend only since i was pressured to do so and is likely only to get me to leave the house for a weekend so my brother could impress daddy or his friends by bringing over people high, that may seem to be lively or funny.
I think if you have a depressive family, then its just manic, no medication can really fix that. i used marijuana to reduce stress, or allow me to remain in a uncomfortable position, like going to 4 high schools in 4 years, i never could read or study well since my brother would always cause some sort of fight, and i was defeated. stress in excess causes bad memory. i graduated on time making up 1 year my last year of school. My dad married 4 times, he obviously cant be happy, my brother on his second wife who may be a psychologist, so i guess he needs that support to keep from second guessing himself, he was also using methamphetamine s for over 20 years, for the money and to keep from depressive feelings. my sister lied to her first son about who his father is, i dont have any relationship with her, so i only hear that she left her famliy behind, which is where i stand. my mom is on prozac or was, sue did have a huge bottle of the stuff and offered them to me, idk why, i tried some, they seemed to cause a negative reaction, my drug was weed, i know it wears off and can use more if needed. My family only caused depression for me, whenever i asked them for help, they denied me, i needed help for my life depended on it, and they denied me, i got some help, when i needed a car, i was stuck in the face with a car payment, first time buyer, never had insurance, so this payment, insirance, and moving out cost everything i worked for, depreciating what i was getting from working hard. i worked for my freedom, i was never happier than away from my family, i notice my dad blowing up in anger at times to withstain from crying, everytime i talk to him or try he gets mad, his wife gets involved, #4, they never hear me out it almost seems to be like a threat to keep me from asking for money, to ask for 3 dollars was a argument in my youth. i used weed, and drank in depression unbeknownst to me, i never felt more at home than with my friends, they had good familys, it seems mine only kept me from succeeding at any and all costs , my brother was thought of to be a good example, a drug dealer and my dad was in denial when i told him he didnt have a job, if i was straight forward he would go to my brother who i was somehwat afraid of, maybe he could die, serve a life sentence, or assault me. i'd have more problems with family when i was trying to work them out, for nothing but to make things worse.
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0 #23 my motherYasmin 2013-01-21 04:57
I know my mom had a very bad chilhood, they didnt have any water ore food no one gave them attention and when they did she would get beaten. My grandma is even more crazy than my mom. All my uncles are drugaddicts my mom is the most normal person of the family. Everyone thinks she is really normal but two months ago she admitted that she was bipolair. My mom was atacking my dad that he didnt do the laundry of whatever she said im gonna leave you and she wil take only my brother and sister with me.(not me). And move to another city than my father cried and said if you go im gonna kill myself. The next morning i told it to someone from my school. We had a meeting with a psychiatrist, my mom had changed her mind again and she decided to stay, not for me but it would cost her alot of money. Then the next day i asked her what she really want was it to leave my dad, and she didnt she just wanted to move. And now she doesnt speak about it. Everyday i get to hear how im lowlife and nothing worth, i isolate myself from everybody. I'm very depressed and when i feel happy, my mom makes sure that im not. I havent forgive her, because she thinks she is just a normal mom who did nothing wrong. Im very scared for my brother and sister that they feel the same way as me. Im scared that one day there gonna dump me on the street because i get comments like go to a fosterhome, you got to go. I can never get close to people i have no selfasteam and am very depressed.
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+3 #22 Bipolar momLucia 2012-11-22 20:55
Well, my mom hasn't been diagnosed as bipolar. But they say she has serious problems. Now that I am reading your stories, I believe my mom is bipolar. I'm 21 years old and I was raised only by my mother. She is a great person, but when she gets mad, she says the most horrible things a mom can do, she used to hit me when I was a kid, and once she tried to kill me" but it was only to scare me".

I almost failed at college because of this. I got really depressed, wanted to quit school, and wanted to leave the house.

What I have been doing is to breath, each time she tells this horrible things to me. I am trying to keep on, and work on my self confidence. I am sociable, but sometimes is hard for me to keep up relationships. I don't go out with friends, so I don't get a fight with my mom. I think this is bad, but I got used to it. So now I stay home. And I don't hang out with them, cause I know my mom calls them to say bad things of me when she is mad, or calls to ask them where I am.

I have this dream of being an artist, so I stay and practice or study music. So that keeps me up. It's been hard, I hope I will not be the same with my kids, If I have.
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+3 #21 ForgivenessMother 2012-09-30 16:43
I am a Bipolar mother with three children. I have worked so hard on myself to be a good Mom. I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I get angry over stupid stuff. I get so anxious. My anxiety seems to take over my body, my brain, my actions. I hate myself when I am angry. I am always sorry. We talk about it, about what Bipolar is and how it feels and what I need to do to avoid triggers because the reality is, my children may have it as well. Sometimes I want to give up on being a Mom because I hate working and wanting to be loving and caring when it is so hard for me to be around other people, any person. My children are stuck with me, so they don't leave. I wish I was a far better mother than I am. I have to work really hard at managing and controlling my temper. I hope when they are grown they will forgive me and know I truly did the best I could with what I knew at the time.
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+1 #20 Being embarrased all the timelyndabipolarmom 2012-07-08 19:23
Today police arrived home because my mom had yell at one of my neighbours as she told her crazy woman. of course, I hate all kind of confrontations and as a way to keep it down I just decided to go out with her. She's always wearing cold clothes even tough here it's almost 24 degrees now. She usually speaks at people with irony and believing as superior or if they were slaves or something. I have been trying to help her by taking her to the doctor even tough I havent been able to control her medications it's still a shame for me and for my life to know that my mental state depends on her. I guess I should share things with you as you may probably know what I'm talking about. I've been feeling under the weather these days with no apparently reason and I believe people with bipolar mothers should also start fighting with these mixed emotions too. Creating new spaces and being near people sharing and having fun it's hugely important. nevetheless do not forget it's an illness as any other which need attention and medication as well as support, help and love. I love my mother a lot and I guess I want the best for her . Do not let them suffer!!!! take them to the doctor and remember that youre not alone... someone here in latin america is going thrugh the same.
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+6 #19 RE: My Bipolar MotherRishabh 2012-03-30 05:11
My mother is bi-polar too. It was the opposite for me. She loved me, too much. She didn't love my sister the same way. It's was tough growing up with her. Every few years she would get really sick and be put on very strong meds. The worst part was watching her suffer. My sister could just turn a blind eye and carry on doing what she was doing but it broke my heart. I did get her embarrassed by her in public. I got irritated by her anxious behavior. But how can I blame her? The poor woman suffered all her life because of her illness. She was and is, the best amazing person I know.
I think that all depressed people really need, is love. It can be the love of a partner, society or, any other people.
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+3 #18 This Hits Home....vrr1970 2012-03-23 05:24
My mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was around 12. I am nearly 42 now. I can recall the mood swings, the abuse, the "not being good enough" and the spontaneous behavior. It's still happening. Now the physical abuse ended when she and my father reconciled when I was 18 (after a separation she wanted). But when she 'cycles', she makes off the wall purchases, gets things in her head so she'll have a reason to be BAD WORD ed off and if you don't agree to fight with her like this- she'll leave you voicemails telling you how sorry you are. All that aside, my brother and I didn't understand her diagnosis until she was hospitalized from a suicide attempt 7 yrs ago. She was in 6 hospitals in 2 months. Light was shed upon this with her drs and specialists. See, Mom wasn't big on sharing this part of her life w/us and if we asked- she said it was private and none of our business. Well, when she needed someone she could trust to care for her when this happened, it then came out. That was 7 years ago. Mom improved and took medications like she's supposed to and then when my brother married- it hit the fan again. See, where my brother and I screwed up was we enabled the guilt trips that were presented to us (up until that point anyhow). She called my sister in law while cycling and called her everything but a good woman. Then she called me and wanted me to 'side' with her in doing it. I refused to do so. Well, then I became just as sorry as my sister in law and none of us spoke to my mother for months. Honestly, it was the most peaceful time in my life. She then showed up out of the blue and asked how much longer I was going to ignore her. (Mom's not big on accountability and often won't admit any wrongdoing) I told her I had no desire to talk to her when she acted that way and wouldn't and it was her choice to turn things around. Well, she did again for a while. Even her cycles weren't bad. With all that said, I find that I'm just really, really angry with her. I know sometimes it's not her fault. Yet I feel sometimes she uses her illness to excuse herself. My father passed away 8 years ago and he told me that there would be many things about her behavior that I wouldn't understand and that I had only one mother and that she needed my brother and I to help take care of her. I promised him I'd do this. Honestly, there are times I regret doing so. I love my mother. As a child, I wanted her praise and approval more than anything. I never got it but I managed. I'd still like to see her have a good quality of life. But how can she do that when a)she's not honest about where she is mentally w/her drs or my brother and I? and b)she'd rather be comfortable and subject herself to toxic things and people instead of making changes for the better? She doesn't understand why my brother doesn't want to leave his children alone with her.(She even threatened to get a lawyer regarding this) She was allowed to see those kids anytime she wanted, but due to her instability never alone. So...my apologies for this post being so long and all. I just really have mixed feelings for her. I love her for who she can be when she's stable but am on the verge of hating her when she's not or using her illness to justify her cruel intent. Am I alone feeling this way? Thanks for listening.
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0 #17 kelsearae09Kelsea 2012-02-14 21:05
Where to begin? This stories, along with many of the comments sound just like things I've been through and dealt with. I'm 21 and away at college and I love my mom and dad to death. I have a very strong relationship with my dad and always have. My mom, however, not so much. We just recently found out about her being bipolar even though we've known for sometime. She has also had serious drug problems which is why our relationship started off poorly in the first place. I have tried and tried and I just can't get through without my words being twisted, my feelings being hurts, and my self-esteem being lowered. HOW do I just ignore this and leave it in the past even though it still happens every time that I go home. She told me this weekend that I didn't give a s*** about her, even though there's no one in this world that I care more about...... What do i do?!
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+1 #16 need help tookerry 2011-12-29 08:51
It is insane to think someone has such a similar background to myself. I am twenty years old now and trying to come to terms with the fact i think my mother is mentally ill. I have experienced serious depression after moving away from home (im a junior in college now), and whenever i think about my mother my depression is triggered. ive grown up in a house with a hardworking/sort of absent dad and my mother did most of the raising...little things like spills on the carpet or bad grades or fights with my father would set her off. i've heard everything from "i hate you, i love your sister" to "ive never loved you and wish you werent born"...i constantly make excuses for my mother to friends because she buys me nice things and pays for an expensive college rather than going on vacations or having a nice house. when upset, nothing can calm her down. she often talks to herself in other rooms just loud enough so we can hear. she belittles me, my accomplishments , my father but manages to keep my sister really far removed. i love my mom and it is really difficult to see her like this. she absolutley believes she has no problem and it is the rest of us who are "scheming" against her to make her miserable.....i am completely dependant on my parents funds and have been kicked out of the house (for about the 5th time this year), it has reached the point where i can no longer spend any time with my mom. i guess i am just at my breaking point.
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+2 #15 im not alone yay.CoryB 2011-12-16 18:23
Quoting VinceM:
Quoting NYCDBD:
My childhood was quite similar to yours..... I'm at my wit's end.


NYCDBD, I learned to ignore my mom for the most part. It's no use fighting with someone who is constantly fighting with themselves. I know exactly how you feel. I'm at the point where I hardly share any information with her, because when she's at her low point she will use any info she has about me and twist it to come up with some type of ridiculousness story that she tries to use to hurt me.

You have to live your life and forget about thinking that she will change for the better... Try meditating after each fight with her... Don't let her stress you out, because that can lead to health problems...

Take cAre :-|

exactly what im going through,im 22 and my mom has bipolar 1. its hard for me not to think that she wont ever change.She's like a firewall, there's no getting through to her.Thank you for your true story it means alot for me to find somone to relate to and made me rethink my decisions. hope all is well, Cory
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+2 #14 RE: My Bipolar MotherVinceM 2011-07-18 11:03
Quoting NYCDBD:
My childhood was quite similar to yours..... I'm at my wit's end.


NYCDBD, I learned to ignore my mom for the most part. It's no use fighting with someone who is constantly fighting with themselves. I know exactly how you feel. I'm at the point where I hardly share any information with her, because when she's at her low point she will use any info she has about me and twist it to come up with some type of ridiculousness story that she tries to use to hurt me.

You have to live your life and forget about thinking that she will change for the better... Try meditating after each fight with her... Don't let her stress you out, because that can lead to health problems...

Take cAre :-|
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0 #13 My mom seems to suffer from BPD...NYCDBD 2011-07-17 21:43
My childhood was quite similar to yours. I grew up in a very turmultuous household. During my teenage years, my mom waas a raging, beligerent alcoholic. Yet, even when she was sober, her mood swings were up and down. She could be extremely happy one minute and go completely off the deep end the next. I've seen her go from her lows to highs with a stranger and it was so embarrassing.

She would say hurtful things as well and never once apologize. To make matters worse, although. I understand her broken English, her English is terrible. She's never tried to improve on her speaking, reading, or writing abilities anymore after she passed her citihip exam. It's no excuse to me, because she's been in the U.S. for 40 years. She gets frustrated wwhen people don't understand her. It's very hard to be around her, because of the communication problems and her undiagnosed bipolar issues. I've talked to her about getting help, but she doesn't acknowledge that she has one, even though the doctor prescribed her zoloft and cylanopin? I don't think I'm spelling the 2nd one right, I'm at my wit's end.
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0 #12 i feel that onefirefuzz41 2011-03-18 09:36
my mom is bipolar, my suspicions were only confirmed by seeing her bring her medicine in the house the other day.
apparently ( according to her) i'm lazy, selfish, i was tired from work earlier and she demanded to see my before she went to work, i answered the door sleepily and she said i was under the influence of some unknown drugs....and recently she has taken to snooping around in my personal things...so i dont know what to do other than move out...
she wont listen to reason, she wont listen to common sense, she wont accept or acknowledge anything i tell her
she jumps to conclusions ...
i think im just going to move out and away from her problems
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0 #11 RE: My Bipolar Motherkobra000 2011-02-03 05:22
sounds to me like your the the one who likes to make people feel bad,by BAD WORD ting on peoples experiences that have shaped their lives that they continue to try rise above by saying,"stop crying we all go through things" i bet your the kinda person that would tell a burn patient "it doesn't hurt get back to work" people come here so they can unload just a little bit of their emotional burden of their lives and have an outlet,they don't need twits like you telling them "stop crying we all go through things" and honey it will take a lot more than your piddly little ass to make me angry.
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-6 #10 RE: My Bipolar Motherbrittany 2011-02-02 21:20
Actually, my sister has interstitial pneumotitis and could die at anytime. I moved out at 18 so my parents could take care of her and not have to pay my bills. I've worked full time since high school. My biological father's girlfriend stole my identity and put me $12,000 in debt. I've had two hurricanes destroy my hometown in the last ten years. However, I kept going and will continue to do so. Keep trying to make people feel bad for you if that's what you want in life. I'm going to keep pushing towards my goals. As for the high school part you've mentioned...I've already graduated (top of my class) and I was accepted into a very nice school that I payed for myself. No student loans, no mommy/daddy help. See I'm going off of what you are saying. You're making things up about me. You mad?
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-3 #9 RE: My Bipolar Motherkobra000 2011-02-02 16:16
Quoting brittany:
Stop crying. We all go through things!


oh and with a name like Brittany what do you have to go through? daddy not giving you your weekly cocaine money without blowing him? or are you stressed at not being able to decide which football team to allow to gang bang you on Friday night?,you obviously don't know BAD WORD so shut up ya stupid teenager! once youve actually learned to change your diaper and lived life then perhaps you'll start feeling for people.
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-1 #8 RE: My Bipolar Motherkobra000 2011-02-02 16:12
[quote name="Arch"]i know how that can be all too well,but if you dig your heels in,and get really stubborn about not staying where your life is at,you can make drastic changes just gotta adopt a "change or die" attitude.and with the stuff your mom did,you have to abjure her from your life mind and spirit,easier said than done i know but it can be done. i hope things work out for you and yours.
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-14 #7 RE: My Bipolar Motherbrittany 2011-02-02 15:32
Stop crying. We all go through things!
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+6 #6 RE: My Bipolar MotherArch 2011-01-18 19:18
Damn, but your story is familiar to mine. Hearing the phrase "I wish you were never born" many times over from my own mother, the low self esteem, the craving of attention, the shyness, the lack of self confidence, mother telling us how we will never accomplish anything, the mental, emotional, and physical abuse, etc. The only thing is that my father wasnt around. My parents split up when I was around 5 or 6 years old and divorced quickly afterwards. She got custody os us kids. It was after they split up when her abuse started. She really did a number on us. The end result? All 3 of us kids wound up on public assistance and neither of us have career jobs, good educations, wives, husbands or kids of our own. In other words, we dont have a life. And we all suffer from mental illness on top of that. Thanks mom for destroying us from within.
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+3 #5 Bipolar MomVinceM 2010-11-01 15:21
Quoting kobra000:
sometimes i view my mother as a 4 year old in an adults body. i know your pain man,perhaps one day when we die god can tell us exactly why he gave us such hell for no reason.


I think that the reason I have the opportunity to have a mom like this, is for me to grow stronger and to rely on myself more.

It was hard being a kid with her crazy ways, I was no Angel, but still, it doesn't change the things she did.

I've had and still have some mental hangups because of her, but now I guess I can't blame her anymore since I'm in my thirties...

Anyways, thanks for commenting on my post here!

This site provides me with free therapy 8)
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+5 #4 RE: My Bipolar Motherkobra000 2010-10-31 15:16
Damn i thought i was the only one with a mom like that, ive always said that when my mother passes,hell will have a new demon. i know what your talking about dude,the constant beratement,the total lack of self confidence cause other people people that are supposed to care about you,make it their mission in life to destroy what self confidence you do have,my mother even invited me to kill myself on a few occasions. and just when i think things cant get worse im diagnosed with Bi polar and BPD as well as obsessive compulsive disorder, don't you just hate it when they cant remember all the BAD WORD ty things they did but can acutely remember every single thing you did wrong no matter what the severity of the infraction is,which if you grow up with a mother like this a single cheerio on the floor can get you arrested, beat,berated and belittled for days if not weeks on end.for real.
sometimes i view my mother as a 4 year old in an adults body. i know your pain man,perhaps one day when we die god can tell us exactly why he gave us such hell for no reason.
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-1 #3 RE: Bipolar MotherRJ 2010-06-08 14:18
I read your site and I don't think your mother had bipolar at all. Bipolar's have problems with anger. What you describe is classic Borderline Personality Disorder. Bipolars cannot turn their rage off like a lightswitch, BPDs can if a non-inner circle person approaches. Bipolars do not verbally beat down their victims. Bipolar manias last about three weeks in phases.... manic phase and depressive phase. Dr Jekyl Mr. Hyde behavior is BPD all the way. Borderline is a newer diagnosis and many confuse it with Bipolar. Borderlines are self-centered and manipulate with either anger/intimidation/coercion or pouting/whining/withholding affection. I Hate You Don't Leave Me describes the abandonement/engulfment that is part of this disorder. Your dad was in denial and worked constantly. Consider yourself LUCKY!! I married a copy of my mother in male form and tried to fix him the way I couldn't fix my mother. Fear of being alone keeps people in these relationships far longer than is healthy.
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0 #2 I live with your mother (not literally)David 2010-05-14 16:29
I have been married to a woman now for the last 10 years who suffers from Bi Polar Disorder and who is also boarderline split personality. Everyday d=for me is a struggle to try my best to deal with her in a calm and rational manner. She does go through the fits of violence, mostly towards the babysitter, but she does yell at the kids with harsh profanities regularly. She also takes heranger issues out on me... Not in a physical way but the emotional abuse and the verbal assults. please bear in mind that it isn't her fault entirely, she can't help it mot of the time.
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+6 #1 From a Bipolar MotherMandy 2010-05-06 05:17
While I feel badly for the emotional abuse you mother subjected you to, I want to stress that not all people with bipolar disorder behave this way. I have this dreaded illness, and I also have children. I am not a violent or angry person. Even when the illness was a larger part of my life, I was not abusive. Furthermore, I have worked very hard to treat the illness holistically and today I am thankful for the journey that God has put me on. I've heard stories similar to yours about emotionally abusive bipolar mothers. I don't dismiss the struggle these families have gone through. At the same time, I don't believe that the majority of people with bipolar disorder are angry and violent. Thanks for telling your story and for providing a forum under which I can say a little something to dispel the stereotype.
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