Story Peeps Change Lives

To the Brink of Insanity

Member: sweetsgirl

You walk down the street and see that person standing next to you talking to themselves. You think to yourself maybe they are talking on a bluetooth. As you pass you realize the sad truth. Quietly laughing to yourself while walking by. Never once does the thought cross your mind that, that could be you one day.

I remember feeling that day like I was in some sort of utopia. I could hear every word that was being said and recite it now too. There was another woman. As the words flowed so did the inconsistencies. I listened, maybe a little too hard trying to weed out the truth. What I finally realized was it had all been a lie. But it was almost as if I was outside observing someone else's conversation. The words were not so bad it was the tone of arrogance that was used that sent shivers of electricity through my bones.

Realizing once again I had been taken for a fool. A long night of arguing and her sleeping on the couch followed. A simple its over, whispered out of my clenched mouth. Almost inaudible as if I would take my last breath once you heard it. My heart breaking into a million pieces, I tried once again to see where I had faltered. The tears slowly swole my eyes as I finally drifted off to sleep. I awoke to a kiss and the sound of your voice just as sweet as ever, "I love you". Still asleep I change positions and remind you of last night. "I thought we were over this". I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. The next few hours are a blur, I'm not sure how I got up and dressed.

At lunchtime I drive by her job, our car is still there. So to her favorite restaurant I head. I drive around peering into the window like a cat watching a mouse. It was then that we catch each others eyes. She hurried out of the door and the insanity begun. After idle threats and yelling the phone rings. She quickly goes towards the door. Out the door comes this woman, I knew instantly it was her. To be eye to eye with the one who is getting the attention of my love is making me seethe. I always say I could never imagine how people snap. But at that very moment I understood how quickly things could go wrong. Now we are both on the defensive. The words that are slung back and forth shows no signs of a relationship where there was ever any love. Battered, broken and bruised we both walked away.

I'm still trying to come to terms with this. I cant begin to fathom that crazy person was me. The deep regret I feel in my heart makes me nauseous and want to break down and cry. I've realized that me the control freak, is not even in control of herself. To look this other person in the face was beyond the disrespect my heart could take. To know that once again you brought this drama into our relationship was almost too much to bear. That day I came pretty close to being completely insane. The things that can really send you over the edge. You never know how far a person can push you before you've reached your breaking point. It's sad that I know the feeling all too well.